Pamela's SanctuaryUnleashing the adventures of my life.

Ate

In less than a month, you will be officially pronounced as “wife.” So before that day, let me say my piece.

Ate dear,

You are more like my second mom, my best friend. You were there for me during the good times, and most especially, I felt your presence during the bad times. No amount of money could ever replace how much you mean to me. I love you all – my siblings, but I cannot deny the fact that you are the most treasured one. I love you and will always be here for you. I may be biased to you, and our siblings might feel bad about it, but I know they’ll understand because they could see how bonded we both are.

Anyway, I don’t intend this to cause us both drama. It’s more of, just before you get hitched, allow me to thank you for being my Ate. Thank you for always being there whenever and wherever. If there is one person that is so happy with what’s happening in your life now, that would be me. I saw you through your good and bad times. I saw you weep when other people turned you down, and saw your happiness during your highest times.

Ate, like what I’ve said, you are now about to leave the “single zone,” which means, leaving me behind. I know that you’d always be my Ate, but whenever the thought comes that you will now be facing a new life, I couldn’t help but envy you. For now, you have the joys of your life. I know my time will come too, but that would be years from now still. I couldn’t wait for the day that you will be marching down the aisle to meet and be with your destiny for the rest of your lives. I couldn’t wait to see you happy as you build your own family. Yes, I couldn’t be excited enough to see your kids to be. I am happy because I know you’re in good hands.

Ate, I will miss you. I will miss our silly conversations, our “single talks,” our crazy moments together. Yes, I know we can still do the same things, except for one, to go to bed with you at night whenever I’m home. That I will miss the most. I will miss our midnight conversations and snacks. I will miss making “kulit” while you are trying to fall asleep. I will miss waking up in the morning seeing you by my side, and again, making “kulit.”

Sorry if I sound selfish. Believe me, I am not. I’ll just really miss everything that we do together that we can’t do anymore when you get married. Honestly, if only I could, I’d want to spend with you your remaining single days. I would have wanted to bond with you until your wedding day. Sad though that I can’t.

Ate, I wish you good luck and more happiness to come. There’s a lot more to go, we both know that. I just really wish you well in your new life with the man that God has intended for you. I hope on your wedding day, the Maid of Honor won’t be requested to say something as I might weep. Not because I am sad, but because I am happy for you.

I know I have said this a lot of times already, but let me say this again. Ate, I am just here for you. I will always be the Pam in your life, as you will always be the Ate in my life. I love you and I will always care for you though I know that there’s someone who’s capable of caring for you more. I will miss our bonding times, but I am so looking forward to our new bonding moments. I wish you the best. I know you will be a great wife and most especially, a great mom as you are a great sister to me and to our siblings.

Sorry for this, if it sounds a little emo. I just really want you to know how happy I am for you, and how I feel so lucky having you as my Ate.

God bless you!

-Pammy

Halo

July 1, 2010; Cubao Expo, Quezon City – It happened the day after my birthday. And the story goes like this. Just like what I usually do to unwind – so as to avoid writer’s block, I surfed the net. That day, my interest was scouting for food hubs. I don’t know why these days I am always craving for food! Imagine that, but hey I am not getting fat – that’s the good thing about my body.

Anyway, after surfing from one blog to another, here comes the discovery of the day, Green HALO (that’s how they write it). I was fascinated with the exterior and interior look. I don’t know why also, but I am so into arts these days. Perhaps being surrounded with artistic people have something to do with that.

Going back to the place, it was so enchanting that I had myself googling about it. I found a lot of reviews and yeah, I fell in love with it. So there, I was thinking of a date to go in there. Apparently, since spontaneity is what I am up for, I did an on the spot decision.

Med and I were chatting over YM when I suddenly asked her if she’s not going on an OT that time. When she said no, I asked her to go with me to Green HALO! Maybe she was surprised ’cause she asked me, “Now?” Oh yeah, good thing Med was free then and was willing to explore what the world has to offer as well. I so love the idea of being spontaneous. Doing whatever comes to mind without allowing anything or anyone hinder you from doing it.

Fast forward, Med and I met at Ali Mall, and headed off to my new discovery, Green HALO. But before that, we explored Cubao Expo first. Oh, it was so cool. Never thought there’s an artist’s haven in there. We went to one shop, looked at some paintings and had new painting discovery, which we both forgot what it was named. Then, we tried looking for some place before we landed at Green HALO.

By the way, I think I have to mention that Med had a moment in there. She saw someone sketching something inside one of the establishments there, then had that eye to eye with matching smile moment. Med, am I right? (hahaha) And there you go, we conquered Green HALO.

Without exaggerating, the place was not your usual place. If you don’t appreciate art, better go to some other place. Oh, and if you hate vegetarian food, then leave as well. Med and I are not vegetarians, but we loved the food! Isn’t that healthy living? So there comes the deal, no fast food as long as when? I couldn’t remember if we have talked about until when.

And the story continues, surprisingly, we were just the only customers they’ve had (well at least for a couple of hours). I loved the idea of just sitting there, enjoying the place, thinking of nothing. Well, not really nothing at all, sort of minimal thinking I guess (is there such thing as that?). Actually, there were a lot of things that came to mind, but I guess this is not the right place to share them. Okay, I am getting a little crazy with the thinking thing.

Anyway, I showed Med the black, blank-paged notepad that my colleague gave me. I bet she envied me because she was so looking for it but couldn’t find one, yet here I am showing it to her. Kidding. Since I know how blessed Med is when it comes to art, I asked her to do my caricature as well. Although it ended up so not me (the caricature), I still am happy with whatever she did. What’s on my mind? Who knows my best bud would become famous someday, at least I had her do my caricature first. Kidding again.

What more can I say? I am in awe with the whole idea of just doing whatever comes to mind. The freedom to do so made it more exciting and fun. I couldn’t wait for our next discovery. Everyday, I am looking forward for more rewarding and exciting discoveries. Just a thought, when would that day be when it’s not just Med and I?

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Set aside your fears. Discover the beauty of life with someone who has the will to discover it with you.

30th

June 30, 2010; Tomas Morato, Quezon City – It was already late in the afternoon but I felt like it haven’t even started yet. It was actually my birthday. Yes, a lot of people greeted me, but it seemed like something was missing. I couldn’t figure out really, but it was just so awkward on my part. Anyway, I decided to make my day special. I called up Melody, who even forgot that it was actually my day. When she answered my call, she blurted out, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Sorry….” I, on the other line was just laughing. Well, knowing Melody, I would be surprised if she greeted me first without me telling her. I guess I know now what to give you on your birthday, Memo Plus!

So there, after I treated my sister, I headed to Ortigas and met up with Med. We walked along Emerald while thinking of a place to go to. Then came the decision, we headed off to New Manila, Quezon City to look for a bar and restaurant named, Big Sky Mind that was actually recommended to me by my colleague. Sad to say though, we weren’t able to find it. So we decided to just go to the nearest place to be, Tomas Morato.

Sticking to spontaneity, we asked Manong Driver to drop us off somewhere in the middle of Tomas Morato. We walked, looked for a cozy place to eat dinner, and there we found Kitchen of Cakes and Coffee. The ambiance was so cool. The food was yummy, a Chicken in Cream Sauce for Med and a Chicken Parmigiana for me. Med also ordered a slice of French Cheesecake, bought birthday candles, and asked me to make a wish and blow it.

The waiters there saw us and asked who’s birthday it was. Surprisingly, a few minutes later, one of them gave a plate with a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” on its sides and a three-piece cookie to complete the look. So thoughtful. Again, Med put some candles on it and made me do the ritual, as I may call it. By the way, Med paid the bill without me noticing it. Her gift to me (bumawi kasi nakalimutan ang birthday ko).

After dinner, we left KCC, crossed the street, and spent the remaining hours of my birthday at Coffee Bean. Now it’s my treat. We were just sitting there. We talked once in a while, but most of the time we were just doing our thing: Med was writing a birthday note, while I was just busy taking pictures of her, myself, and read the newspaper. It was actually the first time that we lacked stories to tell, experiences to share. Taking Med’s words, “Wala na tayong mapag-usapan kasi we already know what we want in our lives.” Okay, not her exact words, but something like that.

Indeed, it was one of the most memorable birthdays I’ve had. Not the usual loud celebration, just a quiet one. While the rest of my family was celebrating papa’s oath of office, I was there, enjoying my unusual birthday celebration. By the way, Cathy, one of dear friends surprised me with a birthday cake. So when I headed home, I had to rush to blow the candles before my birthday ended.

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To Melody and I:

This year will be a year of fulfilling life’s promises. It’s going to be a year of unleashing the desires of our hearts. It’s going to be a year of realizing our dreams. This year will be a great year for you and for me. A wonderful year to look back someday. It has just started, but it’s just so overwhelming that I, on my part, is excited to wake up each day. Not to forget, it’s going to be another year of searching for the right reasons and person/s.

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Birthday is just a date. What makes it special is how people make you feel special.